OK, I haven't been around here much, but I've been doing stuff. Well more like thinking stuff, and some doing stuff! So for your reading pleasure, below is some of the stuff I've been thinking/dreading/doing/not doing broken down by subject matter to keep my OCD in check!


The looming 40th Birthday
(Yes I know that it is still 5 months away! But I PLAN! I'm a planner that Loves to make deadlines to miss!)
I want to get a tattoo.
This is not new. I wanted to get one for my 30th birthday, but that never came to fruition, mostly due to my indecision as to what to get.
I am resolved to get a tattoo for my 40th birthday and because I am an ADULT, if I can't decide on just one, then I will get TWO! Because I can!
So I have started the process of figuring out what to get. I already know the where (s). Now it's the what.
Lucky for me I have a few months.


Baby Trail
Also going with the arbitrary deadline, I'm still on the baby trail. However I've decided that I actually need to put some effort into the whole process, so I've changed some habits in my life- sorry Vodka my old friend, we will now have to meet less often! I've also added some good habits, well they are pretty new, but they will be habits!! Hopefully this will all work together and presto chango alacazammmm this will all happen before the 40th birthday deadline..
(OK I seriously need to work on the deadline thing)


Fucking October is coming again
GAWL I hate this month. With the noted exception of Halloween of course. That one day is one of the only things to get me through this pit of hell we over here in AA land call October.
I am still trying to figure out how to skip the whole rest of the month and land straight on Halloween!
In an effort to keep myself busy during that month I have started the annual making of the costumes!
The Cub will be Anakin Skywalker
The man I married will be Darth Maul ( plans are to shave his head and paint it red..bwaahhhaaaa!!)
I will be....... Yeah I don't know yet! Currently I am trying to convince myself that I can pull off some sort of tutu.......*waits for the laughter to stop*........Yes I said TUTU!! But with a cape..and it will be long.....oh nevermind! I don't know why I want to make a Tutu, let alone WEAR it!! But you know what! I think I just might!...Evil Fairy maybe...
Because I am an ADULT!!
(maybe)
Anyways, I'm outta here! Going to sew!!
Smooches!!

I find myself in an odd place today, for reasons that remain unclear at this point.
Maybe it is the sudden change in weather that has caused me to be reflective.
Perhaps it is the lack of sleep last night that let the wandering thoughts run rampant, thus running into my overall mood today.
Perhaps it is my overall frustration with myself, with my lack of motivation, my lack of will power and clarity.
I hate this mood. It is all encompassing and strangles my soul.
I cannot wait to be home, to hug my Cub.
I cannot wait to have the man I love wrap his arms around me and tell me everything will be alright and that I am allowed to have a bad day.
Til tomorrow!