The past few weeks have not been too great for me. In fact I have had the starring role at a personal pity party, that I have now cordially invited all of you to partake in, I know, I’m sweet for inviting y’all along. Really there is nothing you need to bring, the appys and bevies are on me.

I don’t know if it has been the weather, the stress of work, the same old life stresses we go through, or some colossal explosive combination of the three- but it has been quite a funk. A funk I cannot seem to find my way out of.

I have tried the tested and true method of dousing it with alcohol, while this works for a bit, it seems to come back with a vengeance the next day.

I have tried to sweet talk it and dance it out of my soul, but it apparently is a feisty tango that keeps twirling back.

I have teased it with Facebook, but it get disappointed.

I have submersed it in books, but it hangs out on the back cover.

I’ve played it to near exhaustion with Cub, but it just moves its toys when I’m not looking.

X has tried to distract it long enough for me to whack it with a baseball bat but I can’t get it out of the park.

This is one of those funks that makes you look in every nook and cranny of your soul, searching, reflecting, digesting, vomiting… ( but not on the appy’s  I promise).

So if you are looking for me, I am the one doing the funky dance in the pity corner.

In an effort to enjoy my weekend, I have decided to cleanse my soul of a few of the items that have annoyed,pissed or down right caused me stress this week.

To that end I present you with;

•  To D#1: I can actually read and do my job- trust me - you don't have to read them to me, over, and over.
•  To D #2: Seriously? Seven smoke breaks before noon?
• To the Receptionist: Last time I checked it was in your job description to answer the phone, so stop asking me to pick it up because you are too busy picking your nose.
• To the Parents at Cub's school who cannot drive their children less than 10 blocks to school without popping in  a movie/tv show in the vehicle's DVD player for their kids to watch.
• To the person who 'coded' Cub's book to his reading level, 3 chapters in a book is not level H!
• To the asshat who was ahead of me coming into the parking garage, the posted speed is 10KM an hour not 2KM - Just a heads up - there is no need to SLAM on your brakes at that speed. 
• To the kid who stole Cub's mitts on the bus- I'm going to shove them down your Mom's throat if I find you.
• To the twatrot driving 40km in the fast lane on the highway. Two bloody days in a row! Yes there is a reason I was driving in the dirt once I passed you.
• To the cleaning staff at my building, pssst...there is a small island of dirt  in the middle of my floor, its name is Bob, please continue to leave him alone.
• To the women who likes to puke on the floor in the women's bathroom at work. Please for the love of all that is holy call the cleaning people, so I don't have to..oh..unless you've named it too?

* Click, Click, Click* "There's no place like home, there's no place like home... P.S....has anyone seen  my glass of vodka?"

I do not subscribe to No Whining Wednesdays, in fact I find that my Wedensday's are more of the WTF variety. For some insane reason, whacky/stupid/ crap/people tend to infiltrate my world on Wednesdays.  Causing me to sit back and reflect at the distinct lack of alcohol in my fridge, or weapon in my hand.

So far today I have had the pleasure of;

• Having my gas light come on as soon as I hit the highway
• Being blocked in by two Semi's on my commute this morning, and then when I finally got to pass one- he proceeded to ride my ass with his brights on.
• Follow some stupid ass into the parkade who felt it rather necessary to slam on his brakes while he was at prime cruising speed of 2KM.
• Trying to talk to a client who insists that he and his wife need to be on the phone at the same time- then they talk over me, then they fight, then they both talk to me....kill me now!
• Trying to jog Dad #2's memory of a conversation we had less than two weeks ago that turned into a mind bending exchange of " I did" "No you didn't", "I did", " No you didn't"

And lucky me the day is not even 1/2 over

So I'm a big fan of Ms. Dani, and I am currently envious of her Sticky notes, soooo I have decided that I would play along- Cause I loves me some office supplies! I just couldn't resist.
So here goes;

Thanks for letting me play along!

The weekend in our house is usually packed with copious amount of fun things like grocery shopping, laundry, alcohol and cleaning the house. For the most part X is rather handy to have around  there are many things he is good at besides keeping me in my happy place. However, he suffers from a common affliction known 'round this house as 'boy brain'.

This affliction is heightened when there is cleaning to be done.  Please understand that I am not complaining about my husband's help,  the process he uses confuses the ever loving crap out of me. I clean room by room - usually starting at one end of the house-ending at the other, X employs a different tactic. A typical  house clean in our house goes something like so;

* a little disclaimer, I never say anything to him I just observe- i'm not stupid- he's cleaning!


Vacuum first- starts in living room, stops, leaves vacuum plugged in and in the middle of the room.( I hear the vacuum stop and poke my head into the living room..Where is he....looks in kitchen)
Starts dishes, sink full of water, washes some dishes, puts a few on to soak. ( Water has stopped running- oh he must be done- pokes head into kitchen..huh, walks into living room trips over vacuum cord? Where are you?)
In the basement, collecting the recycling hauling it up to the back door to take to the van.. (hears door close, looks around, can't get past the landing because of the recycling, cub is moving the vacuum, kitten is playing in the soap bubbles..where are you??)
Comes inside from shovelling the snow off the deck, heads to the basement..( now what are you doing?)
Grabs the garbage- takes it outside...Comes back in the house, trips over recycling- takes it outside and loads it into the van...( hears crashing of recycling, swearing and the door close...looks outside...where are you? Phone rings)
Just went to take the recycling back- need me to get anything? ( uhumm..handcuffs? Velcro?.....looks around...kitten is chewing on the vacuum cord and Cub wants to 'wash' the dishes)
Returns home, vacuums kitchen and hallway. ( what, wait, why didn't he vacuum the bedrooms..huh? Vacuum is in the hallway and he's....
 On the computer? ( Oh sweet mother of  mary...)
Gets off the computer and returns to the kitchen, washes a few more dishes, loads the dishwasher, checks on the soakers- adds more hot water.. ( Walks into the kitchen- seriously how long does it take to do dishes?? Begins to look around...)
Comes up from the basement with a clean load of laundry to put away- takes them to the bedroom..( Walks down the hallway- stubs toe on vacuum, goes into the bedroom to...what he was right here....)
In the bathroom shaving....( *eye roll*)
Picks up vacuum, does the bedrooms, puts the vacuum away...( aaahhh done...X? X?....)
In the basement cleaning out the cat litter...( ok, not a word here, say nothing and slink away -I hate this job)
Finishes the dishes..( sweet)
Plays a little lego with the Cub.( coolness)
Cracks a bevy... The cleaning is done, time to relax!


This same process occurs virtually every weekend and never ceases to amuse the ever loving piss outta me. I can't help but wonder how his brain works, its a train wreak of bad multi-taskers, but I just roll with it....because, he cleans the litter boxes!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Ok so the lovely Danica Dragonfly has been busy handing out homework...I mean awards again, and like back in the day when I was in school, I am handing this in late. 


The fine print for keeping the Happy torch lit:

A. List 10 things that make you happy. (See below)

B. Try to do at least one of them today.  (Well I’m trying)

C. Tag 10 bloggers that brighten your day.( I don’t know 10 that don’t already have this..)

D. For those 10 bloggers who get the award, you then link back to my blog and create your own "makes you happy" list-  (See C above.)

Ten Things that make me happy:

 I am gonna make my list sans family unit cause well that one’s a big gimme so here we go….

1.  New clothes: I love new clothes. Period. Well I would like them more if they were a bit smaller.
2.  New sexy shoes- I lurves me shoes. I actually have a deal with X that for every new pair that comes into the house, one has to leave,  *look over here honey…a zombie!! * ….er..get hidden 
3.  A clean house, with no dishes, no toys, laundry done..aaaaahhhhhh
4. Gum. Gum makes me a very very happy girl- keeps my mouth busy from lipping off.
5.  Doing something artsy. Writing, sewing, drawing and sitting back and enjoying the effort it took me and it’s completeness.
6.  When Cub runs up to me full smile arms open yelling MOMMY!! And the hug that ensues, for no reason.
7.  Coffee. Coffee makes me VERY VERY happy, and well….sane..nuf said.
8.  Like Dani- Karma gets a spot on my list, but only when you actually get to witness the bite back to someone who wronged you so. I have only had the pleasure of this once, but, man that was a sweet mo’fo of a day. I may have actually orgasmed.
9. Cooking a fabulous dinner, sitting around drinking some sort of bevy of the non alcoholic variety with X, or friends, or family or all three.
10.  And a weird one thrown in for fun… The smell of tires. Not quite sure, but that smell puts a big smile on my face.

There, me and my weird top ten things that make me happy can relax now!

As I said before, I don’t know 10 other bloggers that don’t already have this, so I am passing it along to two who have been MIA for a bit.

1. The Real Me@ Bits of my Brain

2. Dag Nabbit@ Irony Clad


Gonna go do my happy dance now....

Yet another decade of my life has come and gone. I tend to dislike this particular part because it makes me feel old.....er..
 Let me say for the record, that I am not sad to see 2009 go along its way. Not one of my favorite years as far as the decade goes.
 I generally like New Years, it is the promise of the unknown, it is a fresh start and a chance to reflect back. I don't do resolutions, I learned that many moons ago. 
What I do, is I look back at all that I, or we as a family have accomplished. How far we've come versus where we have been. This is the fuel that starts my New year, every year.
So in honour of a new decade, here is my top ten list of good stuff, not necessarily in chronological order.

1.  I got married to my best friend and soul mate. ( 2001)
2.  Cub entered/took over my life. (2003)
3.  We packed up the wagons and moved provinces finally leaving a town we both wanted to vacate. (2005)
4.  We finally managed to buy our first home. Ok buy implies we actually own it- really we rent it from the bank. (2008)
5. Furry kids. We got loved by two of the best damn dogs, and two of the coolest cats. (2000-2009)
6.  I started blogging, stopped and started again. (2005-2009)
7.  We bought our first new car- EVER! (2005)
8.  We made some great new friends.
9.  We marveled at the experience of seeing things for the first time through the eyes of our Cub  
10. I have learned to not take things for granted.

Don't get me wrong, there was a lot, and I do mean A LOT of crap that happened in this decade, but that is for a different day. 


Today is about the good. Today is about fresh starts and  new beginnings. 


2010 I'm ready for you.....


*oh and the Olympics...I am ready for that too*