The weekend in our house is usually packed with copious amount of fun things like grocery shopping, laundry, alcohol and cleaning the house. For the most part X is rather handy to have around there are many things he is good at besides keeping me in my happy place. However, he suffers from a common affliction known 'round this house as 'boy brain'.This affliction is heightened when there is cleaning to be done. Please understand that I am not complaining about my husband's help, the process he uses confuses the ever loving crap out of me. I clean room by room - usually starting at one end of the house-ending at the other, X employs a different tactic. A typical house clean in our house goes something like so;
* a little disclaimer, I never say anything to him I just observe- i'm not stupid- he's cleaning!
Vacuum first- starts in living room, stops, leaves vacuum plugged in and in the middle of the room.( I hear the vacuum stop and poke my head into the living room..Where is he....looks in kitchen)
Starts dishes, sink full of water, washes some dishes, puts a few on to soak. ( Water has stopped running- oh he must be done- pokes head into kitchen..huh, walks into living room trips over vacuum cord? Where are you?)
In the basement, collecting the recycling hauling it up to the back door to take to the van.. (hears door close, looks around, can't get past the landing because of the recycling, cub is moving the vacuum, kitten is playing in the soap bubbles..where are you??)
Comes inside from shovelling the snow off the deck, heads to the basement..( now what are you doing?)
Grabs the garbage- takes it outside...Comes back in the house, trips over recycling- takes it outside and loads it into the van...( hears crashing of recycling, swearing and the door close...looks outside...where are you? Phone rings)
Just went to take the recycling back- need me to get anything? ( uhumm..handcuffs? Velcro?.....looks around...kitten is chewing on the vacuum cord and Cub wants to 'wash' the dishes)
Returns home, vacuums kitchen and hallway. ( what, wait, why didn't he vacuum the bedrooms..huh? Vacuum is in the hallway and he's....
On the computer? ( Oh sweet mother of mary...)
Gets off the computer and returns to the kitchen, washes a few more dishes, loads the dishwasher, checks on the soakers- adds more hot water.. ( Walks into the kitchen- seriously how long does it take to do dishes?? Begins to look around...)
Comes up from the basement with a clean load of laundry to put away- takes them to the bedroom..( Walks down the hallway- stubs toe on vacuum, goes into the bedroom to...what he was right here....)
In the bathroom shaving....( *eye roll*)
Picks up vacuum, does the bedrooms, puts the vacuum away...( aaahhh done...X? X?....)
In the basement cleaning out the cat litter...( ok, not a word here, say nothing and slink away -I hate this job)
Finishes the dishes..( sweet)
Plays a little lego with the Cub.( coolness)
Cracks a bevy... The cleaning is done, time to relax!
This same process occurs virtually every weekend and never ceases to amuse the ever loving piss outta me. I can't help but wonder how his brain works, its a train wreak of bad multi-taskers, but I just roll with it....because, he cleans the litter boxes!
