S'alllright....


I have 1/2 day of worky to put in before I get to race home and jump in the van and head to the Sis's house for Christmas. If only the weather would cooperate. Currently it is snowing, and blowing and generally sucking for any sort of winter driving. "Compact snow and slippery sections" is the catch phrase of the day.
I did find something today though, something I thought I wasn't going to find this year....


Today I was reminded of what is important, I get time off to be with my family... X and Cub. I get to see and enjoy my parents and Sis and Bro-in-law. We get to recreate family dynamics, eat and drink too much- but we get to be together. I will get to crawl into a nice warm bed with the love of my life and wait ....uhum...sleep ..ok not really, ( get her minds away from there....My parents will be in the next room- and Cub will be IN our room)  I turn into a bloody 6 year old...there is NO sleeping Christmas eve unless it is an alcohol induced coma. You DO know that Santa comes right??


Over the course of the few blurry days, we will eat too much, sleep little, drink waaaay too much, oh hell for good measure we may as well throw in a heated argument.. But best of all I get to be thankful. Thankful for what I have. 
This will probably be my last post until after Christmas, So I wanted to say...


Merry Christmas! I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday, surrounded by the ones you love and the ones you choose to be with. May you dance too much, find your belly too full, suffer from a hangover, get kissed under the misltoe, and get to see that sparkle in a child's eye on Christmas morning..( there are no age restrictions here) I leave you with two thoughts...

The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. Maya Angelou

And...3 MORE SLEEPS........

*kisses*

There are not a lot of things that I would say are my favorite things at Christmas, in fact Halloween is much more my thang. But I do really enjoy having a Christmas tree.

When my sister and I were kids, our parents would take us out and we would go Christmas tree hunting. Chainsaw, Axe and hot-chocolate. We would spend the day tromping around some plot of  land that the provincial government wanted cleared ( hence gave out free tree tickets in the local paper) in sub arctic conditions looking for the perfect Christmas tree.
My Mom would eye up the biggest mo'fo there was and my Dad would cut it down while us girls stood off some  safe sort of distance. Then my Dad would cut the very top of the tree off, we would drag that bad boy out of the bush and tie it down to the ol' station wagon. Mom and Dad would be tieing down the tree( well where is the rope? I thought you packed the rope? Get the bungee cords..) while my sis and I sat in the car sipping our hot chocolate. We would then bring the tree home and attempt to set that puppy up to decorate.
Fucking tree stands. enough said!
 We would then gather as a family to decorate the tree...sorry, my Dad would put on the lights and we girls would decorate the tree.....aaaaahhhh good times......
Then we moved to BC, and after a couple of years my Rent's went artifical, they decided that cutting down pine beetle infested trees, or better yet the one with the dead rodent as a tree topper..maybe wasn't the best plan. s'alright...we adjusted...
Then I got married and got to have my own tree!! *gush* Last year X bought me a beautiful 7 foot artificial tree that could pass as the real thing if you over look the metal branches and the lack of pine tree smell... but I love it!!
 Last year, X, Cub and I circled that puppy as a family and adorned it with all of our decorations. We listened to Christmas music, drank a bit, sang a bit....made X put more than one decoration on the tree...it was lovely!

So this year, we dig out the Christmas tree...Cub is so excited he can hardly stand it.. we lug up the boxes of decorations, get the lights on, Cub puts a few decorations on and then .....

Did I mention we got a kitten in March? Did I mention that she's Tiny. Did I mention that apparently she thinks my Christmas tree is her own personal gateway to the ceiling???

No.... oh....

For the remainder of the evening we watched as our Tiny little bitch climbed up (squirt with water bottle) and down (bad, bad kitty- cub)  Thwak- off goes the one decoration Cub put on.... Thud - there goes the other one.
I thought this would pass- give her a few days to adjust, this is her first Christmas.

The Christmas tree has been up for a week now. The boxes of decorations have been relocated to the basement, and I find myself replacing lightbulbs on a daily basis so at least we have all of the colours - it really is amazing just how sharp kitten teeth can be.

 I have spent more time un-bending branches and re-fluffing the tree than I care to count. She has even taken to sleeping in it, bitch curls all up and lays there taunting me.

Cub now understands exactly why we won't be putting decorations on - and he's ok with it. X is fucking tickled pink that he doesn't have to decorate the tree, let alone take that shit down, I mean, he is saddened by our lack of family tradition and rum..
And you you little Tiny bitch...  I will have my revenge upon you soon enough.... One day when you least expect it, I will scoop your puny butt up and haul you off to the Vet, where you will be drugged and spayed. Then I will bring you home and you will over eat and get FAT...too fat to climb MY CHRISTMAS TREE!!
bwahhhaaaaaa......
In the meantime, we are calling this year the year of the 'living ornament'...cause that's how we roll.

Today  I went to my cub's Christmas Tea at School... Tea..as in in the middle of the fucking day..as in at 11:30 am until 12:30 pm. While this accommodates most of the stay at home types that seem to frequent cub's elementary school, this does not work so well for me. In fact, I work a meager 30 minute commute from said cub's school..to spare y'all the logistics... I took the damn day off! This way I got to take my cub to school, and got to go to the...motherfuckingmakeyoucrycausetheyaresingingsomethingsappy..  Christmas tea and play nice with the Barbie Ihaveallthetimeintheworldtogotothegymandtan moms. Thankfully X was there too, really it was just too good to not share that, and hell I don't really think its fair to have to suffer alone.

Then tomorrow is my baby Cub's 6th birthday. *sigh* little shit is resiting staying a baby and is already growing up. Last night when I got him out of the shower, he actually said " Mom I bonked your boob!" next will be internet filters and  cyber parenting with long discussions about pornography and feminism (from  mom) and short ones from dad (here's how to bypass the internet filters your mom set up) 6 going on 16.

Saturday and Sunday I will face another challenge, I will make perogies. For those of you who don't know what perogies are, they are small pie shaped dough filled with (depending on your recipe) cottage cheese, cheddar cheese, onions, mashed potatoes and sweat.
I tend to only make them once a year, for a reason people!! These little fuckers are time consuming yet tasty as hell and unless the elves start showing up, I may skip making them next year...So I kid on the last part..
I make them for a reason.
When I was a kidlet up until my adulthood  I LOVED my Grandma's perogies.  I could eat ( and I shit you not) almost a whole pail ( an icecream pail of them) when I was younger. I will skip over the 'food poisoning  year" because my Grandmother didn't believe shit could go bad in the freezer and move on...

She made these tasty little fuckers every visit,every holiday, hell anytime we came to visit because we loved them. When she would come to visit I would beg her...plead...and beg some more to make them and every time she would show me how to make the dough just so, and the mixture...no measuring here folks, all by taste and every time I would help her roll, and cut, and stuff.
And then one year.... she didn't make them anymore... cause well she went and did what grandchildren hate...she went and died.....1 month before my wedding to X, ( the day of my bridal shower) and a week before my cousin's wedding.
Some families would crumble and retreat, not my family, and for this I am extremely proud. We did a funeral on Friday for the family matriarch, a wedding on Saturday, and read the will on Sunday...and yes we did copious amounts of drinking.

*Sentimental moment*... for the record this woman meant the world to me, and not for the run of the mill Grandmother reasons... my Grandmother was stuck at the age of 25,  even though she was in her 80's when she died. She had a wicked, and I do mean wicked sense of humour! Some of the best dirty jokes I know came from her. My Grandmother's nickname was "chinner".... because of her gift of gab. This chin is famous in our family and I find myself quite fortunate and most proud that I have her chin! And so does my son. She never got to meet him, but I know she knows about him because she visits me.

Ok I know what y'all are thinking, she's lost it, gone, kablooey, call the psyc van...but really my grandmother visits me in my dreams... and for the record it freaks me the fuck out!

 So back to perogies, I am the only grandchild, by birth -some of my male cousins' wive's make 'em- (but that doesn't count) that has carried on the tradition of making perogies. Partly I do it to honour her, partly I do it to carry on the tradition for my Dad, but mostly I do it for me, even though they don't taste the same ( and never will) it keeps part of  her here.

There is one problem with this little plan, they literally take two freaking ass days to make! I spend one day making and cooking the guts, and then the next day I spend rolling out dough, cutting, pinching boiling, oiling, freezing these monsters until I can barely move one motherfucking last muscle and then what do I do with the 300 or so of them I make?? Yup I give them away. Oh yeah did I mention that I only know how to make a batch big enough to feed an army!!
So if you get a frozen package delivered to your door this Christmas, please know that somewhere out there, my Grandmother is laughing her fucking ass off at me and doing a Karma dance in my dreams!

Terribly sorry about the outburst but I had to explain.
You see Xtreme has gone and broke his blog. According to blogspot, his issue is  "known" and they have been diligently trying to fix said problem for oh just short of two months now.
He's not updating in the blogroll..  He is posting away, like a freaking mad man, and yet.....we can't see him.
He's not taking this whole invisible thing well for a ragey sombeach...
Either way.. he is up and running and really not that much fun to be around right now..at least in person...hell he's currently amusing as hell one line...but don't tell him I told you that cause I will never live it down

With Christmas being only 19 days away and having not really done much in the way of shopping for presents, I figured it was perhaps a good time to actually ask my cub what he wanted, at the very least I would know what Santa wasn't going to be bringing this year.

I decided that it was high time he wrote a letter to Santa. Alright I confess, I would be writing it,while he dictated his list o'goodies. This is not to say that my cub cannot print, he can, let's face it people I just don't have that kind of time to spend on a letter to Santa.
I get out the paper and pen and figure at the very least I will write it down for him and then he could recopy the words.

"Mom, why are we writing the letter?"
"So Santa knows what you would like."
"Don't you have his email, can't we email him instead?"
"Sweetmotherofmary- you are not serious."
" Mom, Santa has to have an email we have to email it or he won't get it in time."
"Ok we will email it to him, now what do you want the email to say?"

Of course he started with the I have been a good boy this year, followed by his request for world peace and finished with requesting a large lottery win for Mom and Dad. What a sweetheart! He's a dream child...or am I dreaming??
Yup definitely dreaming...
In his defense he has yet to turn 6 and perhaps next years letter will contain at least one of those requests. Instead we managed to make a list of little boy wishes;
Lego, Lego, Lego,
A Scooter,
A DS...ooh a DS....
A slap chop,
Cars,
Colouring books,

"Wait just a minute....back up a few....did you say Slap Chop?"

"Oh yes Mom, ya know, if I had one of those I could chop up my own vegetables! Did you know that it also does strawberries, and if we get one now we can get two, then you could have one too."
"You really want a Slap Chop? For real?"
"Yes, and Lego!"

I am still at a loss for words- Whose kid asks for a Slap Chop for Christmas? Well besides mine! GAK..

"Hey X your cub insists we email Santa his letter- and by the way get this, he wants a SLAP CHOP!"
" He he...Wait til you see my nuts, did he say that, did he say that?"

I know what you're thinking ladies, hands off they are both mine.....*sigh*