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Christmas Teas,Cooking and Ghosts ...Merry Fucking Christmas!
Posted by Amethyst Anne
in
Merry Christmas
Today I went to my cub's Christmas Tea at School... Tea..as in in the middle of the fucking day..as in at 11:30 am until 12:30 pm. While this accommodates most of the stay at home types that seem to frequent cub's elementary school, this does not work so well for me. In fact, I work a meager 30 minute commute from said cub's school..to spare y'all the logistics... I took the damn day off! This way I got to take my cub to school, and got to go to the...motherfuckingmakeyoucrycausetheyaresingingsomethingsappy.. Christmas tea and play nice with the Barbie Ihaveallthetimeintheworldtogotothegymandtan moms. Thankfully X was there too, really it was just too good to not share that, and hell I don't really think its fair to have to suffer alone.
Then tomorrow is my baby Cub's 6th birthday. *sigh* little shit is resiting staying a baby and is already growing up. Last night when I got him out of the shower, he actually said " Mom I bonked your boob!" next will be internet filters and cyber parenting with long discussions about pornography and feminism (from mom) and short ones from dad (here's how to bypass the internet filters your mom set up) 6 going on 16.
Saturday and Sunday I will face another challenge, I will make perogies. For those of you who don't know what perogies are, they are small pie shaped dough filled with (depending on your recipe) cottage cheese, cheddar cheese, onions, mashed potatoes and sweat.
I tend to only make them once a year, for a reason people!! These little fuckers are time consuming yet tasty as hell and unless the elves start showing up, I may skip making them next year...So I kid on the last part..
I make them for a reason.
When I was a kidlet up until my adulthood I LOVED my Grandma's perogies. I could eat ( and I shit you not) almost a whole pail ( an icecream pail of them) when I was younger. I will skip over the 'food poisoning year" because my Grandmother didn't believe shit could go bad in the freezer and move on...
She made these tasty little fuckers every visit,every holiday, hell anytime we came to visit because we loved them. When she would come to visit I would beg her...plead...and beg some more to make them and every time she would show me how to make the dough just so, and the mixture...no measuring here folks, all by taste and every time I would help her roll, and cut, and stuff.
And then one year.... she didn't make them anymore... cause well she went and did what grandchildren hate...she went and died.....1 month before my wedding to X, ( the day of my bridal shower) and a week before my cousin's wedding.
Some families would crumble and retreat, not my family, and for this I am extremely proud. We did a funeral on Friday for the family matriarch, a wedding on Saturday, and read the will on Sunday...and yes we did copious amounts of drinking.
*Sentimental moment*... for the record this woman meant the world to me, and not for the run of the mill Grandmother reasons... my Grandmother was stuck at the age of 25, even though she was in her 80's when she died. She had a wicked, and I do mean wicked sense of humour! Some of the best dirty jokes I know came from her. My Grandmother's nickname was "chinner".... because of her gift of gab. This chin is famous in our family and I find myself quite fortunate and most proud that I have her chin! And so does my son. She never got to meet him, but I know she knows about him because she visits me.
Ok I know what y'all are thinking, she's lost it, gone, kablooey, call the psyc van...but really my grandmother visits me in my dreams... and for the record it freaks me the fuck out!
So back to perogies, I am the only grandchild, by birth -some of my male cousins' wive's make 'em- (but that doesn't count) that has carried on the tradition of making perogies. Partly I do it to honour her, partly I do it to carry on the tradition for my Dad, but mostly I do it for me, even though they don't taste the same ( and never will) it keeps part of her here.
There is one problem with this little plan, they literally take two freaking ass days to make! I spend one day making and cooking the guts, and then the next day I spend rolling out dough, cutting, pinching boiling, oiling, freezing these monsters until I can barely move one motherfucking last muscle and then what do I do with the 300 or so of them I make?? Yup I give them away. Oh yeah did I mention that I only know how to make a batch big enough to feed an army!!
So if you get a frozen package delivered to your door this Christmas, please know that somewhere out there, my Grandmother is laughing her fucking ass off at me and doing a Karma dance in my dreams!
Then tomorrow is my baby Cub's 6th birthday. *sigh* little shit is resiting staying a baby and is already growing up. Last night when I got him out of the shower, he actually said " Mom I bonked your boob!" next will be internet filters and cyber parenting with long discussions about pornography and feminism (from mom) and short ones from dad (here's how to bypass the internet filters your mom set up) 6 going on 16.
Saturday and Sunday I will face another challenge, I will make perogies. For those of you who don't know what perogies are, they are small pie shaped dough filled with (depending on your recipe) cottage cheese, cheddar cheese, onions, mashed potatoes and sweat.
I tend to only make them once a year, for a reason people!! These little fuckers are time consuming yet tasty as hell and unless the elves start showing up, I may skip making them next year...So I kid on the last part..
I make them for a reason.
When I was a kidlet up until my adulthood I LOVED my Grandma's perogies. I could eat ( and I shit you not) almost a whole pail ( an icecream pail of them) when I was younger. I will skip over the 'food poisoning year" because my Grandmother didn't believe shit could go bad in the freezer and move on...
She made these tasty little fuckers every visit,every holiday, hell anytime we came to visit because we loved them. When she would come to visit I would beg her...plead...and beg some more to make them and every time she would show me how to make the dough just so, and the mixture...no measuring here folks, all by taste and every time I would help her roll, and cut, and stuff.
And then one year.... she didn't make them anymore... cause well she went and did what grandchildren hate...she went and died.....1 month before my wedding to X, ( the day of my bridal shower) and a week before my cousin's wedding.
Some families would crumble and retreat, not my family, and for this I am extremely proud. We did a funeral on Friday for the family matriarch, a wedding on Saturday, and read the will on Sunday...and yes we did copious amounts of drinking.
*Sentimental moment*... for the record this woman meant the world to me, and not for the run of the mill Grandmother reasons... my Grandmother was stuck at the age of 25, even though she was in her 80's when she died. She had a wicked, and I do mean wicked sense of humour! Some of the best dirty jokes I know came from her. My Grandmother's nickname was "chinner".... because of her gift of gab. This chin is famous in our family and I find myself quite fortunate and most proud that I have her chin! And so does my son. She never got to meet him, but I know she knows about him because she visits me.
Ok I know what y'all are thinking, she's lost it, gone, kablooey, call the psyc van...but really my grandmother visits me in my dreams... and for the record it freaks me the fuck out!
So back to perogies, I am the only grandchild, by birth -some of my male cousins' wive's make 'em- (but that doesn't count) that has carried on the tradition of making perogies. Partly I do it to honour her, partly I do it to carry on the tradition for my Dad, but mostly I do it for me, even though they don't taste the same ( and never will) it keeps part of her here.
There is one problem with this little plan, they literally take two freaking ass days to make! I spend one day making and cooking the guts, and then the next day I spend rolling out dough, cutting, pinching boiling, oiling, freezing these monsters until I can barely move one motherfucking last muscle and then what do I do with the 300 or so of them I make?? Yup I give them away. Oh yeah did I mention that I only know how to make a batch big enough to feed an army!!
So if you get a frozen package delivered to your door this Christmas, please know that somewhere out there, my Grandmother is laughing her fucking ass off at me and doing a Karma dance in my dreams!
