This is what happens when I am left alone with a shoddy internet connection. I spend the better part of a husbandless evening playing around on the computer doing computer type thingys and blogging something BRILLIANT, brilliant I say..and I finally complete the master piece and go to post it and
WHAM..

The alarm goes off and I have to get my ass off to work.

Apparently the fact that I have not been blogging on a regular basis has infiltrated my dream space. The worst of it, do you think I can remember what the hell I was so fucking happy to have blogged about in my dream?? NO! Because then I would have had something fucking brilliant to post here. Instead you get this rambling piece of half cocked crazyness in an attempt to fend off the Blog zombies that are threatening to appear in tonight’s dream adventures.

What exactly would a Blog Zombie look like you think?

What would possess me to think that the Zombie actually ate my post? Well really I am looking for anything to blame it on. I am quite content to blame my lack of posting abilities on my faulty internet connection - so really a leap to  Zombies eating my posts isn't that far off, or would that be far gone? 
Think of it as an alteration to the dog ate my homework excuse. Seriously has anyone actually used that excuse? Ran out of toner, computer virus, corrupt disk? Sure I have not only used all of those (except the dog one) and I have successfully dated myself in the process. Disk? BAH! More like Jump drive..
Ok, where the hell am I and what was I writing about again? Riiighhtt .....Zombies- maybe I got bit last night and that is the real reason I am on the verge of sanity today. Either that or someone  spiked my coffee with LSD. Or I had little to no sleep last night and waaaaaayyyy too much coffee for one day.
Either way, Please send help or send Vodka or bring Vodka when you come .
Safety in numbers or Party, either one works for me!

So I've been MIA, missing in adulthood. This has not been a self imposed absence, this fiasco has been imposed by my internet provider. Riiight like those assholes 'provide' you with anything but a splitting headache and the urge to go forth and slice someone open. Suffice it to say that after having to speak to several call centres around the world, I do indeed have internet back up and running at home.
Normally not having internet at home wouldn't bother me as much because I have this wonderful high speed connection at work that allows me free access to surf blogs, be on facebook, google items I covet, or work..oh shit, right..work. However I took a few extra days off this week to extend my normal  two days are too short to get any shit done weekend into a full fledged five days allows for at least one day of doing fuck all weekend. So yup internet connection went to shit over the two day weekend, which left me almost NO INTERNET while I was home for three days. THREE DAYS.. *sigh* So that is why I haven't commented until today, and again I feel like that party guest who arrives really late and leaves early.
What was that?
What did I do for three days with no internet?
Well I conquored the first withdrawal symptoms with too much caffine and cigarettes. Unfortunatly this left me jittery and rather wound up, so I decided that cleaning my house, picking apples, doing all the laundry in the house,calling the internet asshats, loading new computer programs, organizing storage rooms, dishes, played games with the Cub, hosting a playdate, would take care of the rest.
I was right.
Not only was I getting quality time with my Cub, but I managed to get a shit tonne of stuff done off my to do list. I have decided that I need a full time ME to stay at home while this other ME goes to work.
I even baked for shit sakes. I never bake, and I mean that. Something has to be dreadfully wrong for me to whip out a bowl and try and bake something. Hell even Cub knows I don't bake. When I offer to bake cookies, he looks at me and says, why don't we just go to the store and get some?
So yeah, I baked cookies, and apple turnovers, and an apple pie- FROM SCRATCH!
I think I was running a fever and perhaps a bit delusional.
I'm better today, I'm back at work. But I kinda miss that non stressed out rocking the stay at home mom Me. That bitch better not bake anymore though - she's making me look bad.

AA

P.S.
Anyone want some apples??