For a little summer celebration!!
Finally we are getting some heat around these parts. Because of this heat, my lawn chair is calling, my sunscreen is jumping up and down waving, the Vodka bottle is  pouring itself and my calendar says that I get some much needed time off!
So a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.
And this girl plans on  doing a lot of nothing.
Well that's what I had planned...
I had planned a little family get away. Just me, the man who I sleep with and Cub, oh  and the dog. It was nothing fancy, a couple of days; asses planted firmly in lawn chairs ; Cub firmly planted at the sandy beach; Dog being quiet , surrounded by nature. Alone, quiet, stress free*bliss*
Yes I  had planned for us to go camping.  I had also planned on us having some family visitors come out to where we were camping . ( Side note we live away from all of our family and we go camping 'back home'. Partly so that we can visit and vacate at the same time. Oh and we never moved all our camping gear- so that shit's all still out there so we have to go there to camp) 
 We did this last year and it was a fabulous time. I got a well deserved rest, time with my family and time with the in laws. They all came out for the day, we visited, relaxed and they went home. We got to sit around alone.
So that was the plan. 
Until now.
So in order to recreate last years fantabulous time, we let the 'families' know when we were coming, so that they could plan to come out to visit... Ahem... I said COME OUT TO VISIT!! TO VISIT.. NOT Take the week off work so that they can come camping with us FOR THE WHOLE TIME!!!  Did I mention that these are my in- laws? The man who was supposed to call his mom and reiterate that while we still wanted to see them and if they wanted to spend a night out that would be great,but we would appreciate if they wouldn't spend the whole time with us, failed to call his mother.
In fact, now both his sisters and mother will be there. His Dad, and two brother's in law are working, we may or not get to see the two nieces and nephew.
THEN, my mother and father decided that they didn't want to be left out from the party and want to come out for the day as well. This is good, well good if you feel like having your I take my job as your mother very literally and will tell you what to do how to do it and you cannot sit down for a single second and  doesn't care that you are a grown woman with her own family around.
Good times people!
Please do not misunderstand. I dearly love my in laws and love being around them, but ( insert really whiny voice here and some foot stomping) I really wanted to spend my ONLY week off relaxing with my guys. Sure I was up for the day trips, maybe even a night over, but, but, but...
To make matters worse, yesterday I find out there is a fire ban, so there will be no sitting around the campfire roasting marshmallows. 
Today I find out that the Barbie girl who is supposed to be covering for the man I need to vacation with while we are away has viral meningitis and she will not be into work- So we don't know if he actually has his time off or not.
Really Karma? COME ON!!! Do you need me to sacrifice something cause I will!! I Hell maybe a mother or in law or two? 
So if we ever get to actually go on this fiasco of a 'holiday' rest assured that I will have my ass firmly planted in a lawn chair and  a very very large Vodka in hand.
Once I recover from my hangover I may do a body count to see if anyone is missing.
Until then, Enjoy your weekend, enjoy your holidays, enjoy your families!!
Smooches
AA.


* Wow, did this come off a lot more bitchy than I intended- well parts of it were meant to be bitchy, but not the whole thing- whiny and self serving yes...bitchy..not so much. Just for the record, Barbie girl is one of the sweetest girls you will ever meet and I hope she gets better real soon- and not because of the impending holidays!!  Oh and I won't really sacrifice anyone either- just saying.

I have a confession to make. I suffer from several Classifications of Brain disease.

 It all started when I was a hormonal teen. I along with many of my friends became afflicted with the first 'A' classification  known as "Asshole Brain". This is more commonly referred to as "The world revolves only around me; the hormonal teen brain". This Class of Brain disease is short in nature, but can be re-occurring throughout the years.  

The B classifications are much longer in duration. My teenage years were riddled with A & D  Class , but I was most commonly affected by  "Boy Brain". This condition lasted a long time up until I got engaged and started planning the Wedding .

 Because of "Boy Brain", I was way more susceptible to another  B Classification  known as 'Bride Brain". Thankfully Bride Brain can be cured with pregnancy. HOWEVER the side effect of pregnancy is that it causes a third B Class:   'Baby brain". Let me tell you- that shit sticks around  for several years and is the gateway condition to the C classification of "Cunt Brain". I thankfully  have been 'B' class  brain symptom  free for 3 years, 18 days and twenty two minutes.

 Over the years I have been known to suffer from a few episodes of A and C Class brain spasms- but they are much shorter in nature. When afflicted with A and C class brain, I don't usually see the effects until it takes over the vocal cords or the keyboard. Then these two classes can be really detrimental to others. 

I suffer from two common D Classifications,  "Dumb Brain" and its  partner in crime "Drunk Brain". Thankfully this brain class is pretty benign and only causes me to wonder what the hell was I thinking. Unless it gets paired up with the only C classification.

H Classification is a whore. "Hormonal Brain" comes on monthly like clockwork. This one can be cured by a B class or a M Class - but I am too young for "Menopausal Brain" and not ready just yet for another round of" Baby Brain".
The P Classification is a detrimental one for me. When lead around by my "Pity Brain" I am really susceptible to both D brain classifications. When the H Class and the P Classes get together I can fall into the worst Class of all. I Class. "Irrational Brain" causes one to think about pulling blogs, picking fights,  quitting jobs and finding fault in my whole being. It takes a lot to get out of an I class 'episode' but the best way to transform it into a S Class "Sane Brain" is to have a bunch of friends and a special man douse the I class with a big old heaping of  the hugely popular  L class. "Love Brain" conquers all and fixes almost all Brain Classifications. At least for a little while!
I hope all of you enjoy a whole bunch of L class this weekend.
Thanks!
*Kisses*

AA