The health of my family depends on this!!

*does a little dance, shakes boobs  little bit*

The playoffs are over and today is the Stanley Cup parade in Chicago**. I am very happy and yes I did do a little dance and drop a tear or two when Chicago won the other night even though the ending was a bit weird. In not in? Why is he skating towards his own goal OMG IT IS IN THE NET! It was weird- nuff said.

I love hockey. But I don’t love all hockey. In fact I only get interested in the second half of the season and once the playoffs start rest assured there will always be a game on in my house. Which is why I am appealing to the NHL on behalf of my family’s health and well being to shorten the season. I think we are having an allergic reaction to Hockey!

I first noticed the symptoms last year during the playoffs :  They started off benign enough, first it was the guy who never used to like hockey until he met me felt  a little nauseous the morning after a game. I felt slightly light headed and craved greasy food. As the play offs progressed I noticed these symptoms getting more intense, and would generally fall on the day after the game. Luckily Cub was immune. Once the playoffs were over it took us several days before we started to feel better.

This year for some reason the reactions were more concentrated for both of us. They even trickled over onto Cub.  He started yelling “whoot whoot”  and doing fist pumps at the TV when ‘his team’ would score. He even started to dance to the Chicago** goal song! The man I sleep with would occasionally wake up with red eyes and blurred vision. My reactions were so bad that I had to take antacids, and even wound up staying home from work one day.  We both suffered from severe headaches and nausea.

Just when we thought it couldn’t get worse, we noticed lunches weren’t getting made, dishes weren’t getting done. We were literally missing hours of our life. Had we been abducted by aliens or was this mental lapse signaling the complete shut- down of our immune systems to this killer bug.

The worst of it came to a head yesterday morning. Mr. Let’s stay up and watch the after-show was late for work, it took me hours to notice I had put on two different socks and my poor Cub had his pants on backwards all day! I put my foot down, enough was enough something HAD to be done-we were starting to dress funny!

Today, so far the symptoms haven’t returned and thankfully we are all on the mend. Now you see why I need to appeal to the NHL to shorten the playoff schedule . We need to limit our exposure. I propose that the teams only play on Friday and Saturday nights. Ok maybe we could negotiate  a Sunday night game – but please for the health of my family no afternoon games!

This weekend I am so writing Gary Bettman while I sit on my deck in the sunshine, vodka in hand!

Happy hockey and symptom free weekend to all!

AA

** I started to cheer for Chicago after all the Canadian teams were officially out of the playoffs because, the Chicago Blackhawks have one of the highest number of Canadians on their team roster.  Yes I will admit that I scoured the rosters , counted up the Canadians and did the percentages. Yup one big geek right here! Well that and I think Toews deserved to hoist the cup…psst  he’s Canadian! See what I am up against here?