5
Sometimes a bargain can come back and bite you in the ass or breaks your nose.
I like to consider myself a savy shopper. I love a good bargain and get all squealy when I find something I consider to be a fabulous deal. Some of my greatest finds come when I am grocery shopping because the store I frequent and give too much of my hard earned cash to likes to slash prices on their inventory just to get rid of it. That is how I managed to purchase 6 metal (what used to be called "Lawn furniture" but is now referred to as "Outdoor living" which really is just code for jacking up the price on metal and plastic outside furniture that deteriorates from the earths elements) chairs for my parents at a measly $3.50 a piece.
These bad boys were not your stock plastic take one look at them and they fall apart type lawn chairs. These were the good and heavy metal ones with plastic straps that needed those fat ass cushions to go over top and 'retail' on them was 35 bucks a piece.( I did manage to pick up 4 cushions for $5.00 a piece, tricky bastards, they just KNOW you need the cushions...)
( more like this only metal)
So I managed to get these chairs and cushions onto a flat, pay for them, get them out into the parking lot, wheeled over to the car, and then and only then did I start to wonder just exactly how I was going to pack these bad boys into my car. You know the 1980 Honda Civic I was driving at the time- you know the one with the Hatchback. I calmly whipped out the cell phone to see if anyone could come to my rescue- fat freaking ass chance of that happening. There was no way I was coughing up these chairs, thankfully they stacked and I figured I could fit 3 high with the back seat down, so in I slid the first three.. smooth as silk.
The next three, were, shall we say, bitchy? I was cramming, pushing, swearing, moving seats, ripping carpet praying that I could shut the hatch and not die from the exhaust fumes, trying to get these bastages into the car. Hell labour was easier than that.
By now I felt as though a small crowd should have formed to watch this stubborn ass woman trying to cram lawn furniture into her small car- but alas, apparently this is a daily occurrence. I was tiring from the exertion and on my final shove , my hands slipped off causing the full force of my push to send my face slamming into the metal bar. Thankfully my nose was there to stop the full face impact and the chairs ended up having a lovely spattering of red on them.
Lucky for me, my darling husband never let's me forget this little fiasco, he constantly uses it as a point of reference for my stubborn nature, did I mention that was over 8 years ago ( and yes I did indeed get all the chairs in the car!)... Yeah I know, he can be a fucker sometimes.
So a couple of weeks back, I did my little dance of joy again when I stumbled across a little video camera, and by little I mean those ones that are made for kids but are better video than on your cell phone type jobby. The price tag was $22.00 from $100.00. I called the man who likes to still call me stubborn this time to OK the purchase and we were good to go.
It has taken Cub a while to get the video bug shall we say, until this evening. He had created some Lego masterpiece on the dining room table and had a car racing through it, when he decided that it would be fabulous to video the car crashing into the Lego bridge.
He was working it like a pro. "I need more light", "Mom, hold this, move that, do this". While he was busy creating the next Transformers movie, I slipped off to go and wash my hair.
Now you may remember that the kitten has a thing for water, so when she was sitting on the toilet beside me I took no notice as I was bent over head down ass up over the tub until..
"Awe, tiny girl, look here, look at Mom.. Hey Mom? Know what? Your bum looks really big"
I whipped around to see my giggling son with his video camera.
"Were you video taping me washing my hair?"
"Yeah, but I couldn't see you because your bum was in the way."
"We now have a new rule. No video taping anyone while they are in the bathroom- OK?"
"Ok."
I was tucking him in tonight and he's all cute as pie when he's getting into bed.
"Hey Mom, remember when I video taped your BUTT!! haahahahahaaa"
There is no mistake, he is his father's son.
These bad boys were not your stock plastic take one look at them and they fall apart type lawn chairs. These were the good and heavy metal ones with plastic straps that needed those fat ass cushions to go over top and 'retail' on them was 35 bucks a piece.( I did manage to pick up 4 cushions for $5.00 a piece, tricky bastards, they just KNOW you need the cushions...)
( more like this only metal)So I managed to get these chairs and cushions onto a flat, pay for them, get them out into the parking lot, wheeled over to the car, and then and only then did I start to wonder just exactly how I was going to pack these bad boys into my car. You know the 1980 Honda Civic I was driving at the time- you know the one with the Hatchback. I calmly whipped out the cell phone to see if anyone could come to my rescue- fat freaking ass chance of that happening. There was no way I was coughing up these chairs, thankfully they stacked and I figured I could fit 3 high with the back seat down, so in I slid the first three.. smooth as silk.
The next three, were, shall we say, bitchy? I was cramming, pushing, swearing, moving seats, ripping carpet praying that I could shut the hatch and not die from the exhaust fumes, trying to get these bastages into the car. Hell labour was easier than that.
By now I felt as though a small crowd should have formed to watch this stubborn ass woman trying to cram lawn furniture into her small car- but alas, apparently this is a daily occurrence. I was tiring from the exertion and on my final shove , my hands slipped off causing the full force of my push to send my face slamming into the metal bar. Thankfully my nose was there to stop the full face impact and the chairs ended up having a lovely spattering of red on them.
Lucky for me, my darling husband never let's me forget this little fiasco, he constantly uses it as a point of reference for my stubborn nature, did I mention that was over 8 years ago ( and yes I did indeed get all the chairs in the car!)... Yeah I know, he can be a fucker sometimes.
So a couple of weeks back, I did my little dance of joy again when I stumbled across a little video camera, and by little I mean those ones that are made for kids but are better video than on your cell phone type jobby. The price tag was $22.00 from $100.00. I called the man who likes to still call me stubborn this time to OK the purchase and we were good to go.
It has taken Cub a while to get the video bug shall we say, until this evening. He had created some Lego masterpiece on the dining room table and had a car racing through it, when he decided that it would be fabulous to video the car crashing into the Lego bridge.
He was working it like a pro. "I need more light", "Mom, hold this, move that, do this". While he was busy creating the next Transformers movie, I slipped off to go and wash my hair.
Now you may remember that the kitten has a thing for water, so when she was sitting on the toilet beside me I took no notice as I was bent over head down ass up over the tub until..
"Awe, tiny girl, look here, look at Mom.. Hey Mom? Know what? Your bum looks really big"
I whipped around to see my giggling son with his video camera.
"Were you video taping me washing my hair?"
"Yeah, but I couldn't see you because your bum was in the way."
"We now have a new rule. No video taping anyone while they are in the bathroom- OK?"
"Ok."
I was tucking him in tonight and he's all cute as pie when he's getting into bed.
"Hey Mom, remember when I video taped your BUTT!! haahahahahaaa"
There is no mistake, he is his father's son.
