ALERT!! Devil Bitch approaching, run for your lives!- Updated

Been meaning to make some changes in my life and really there never seems to be "the right" time. Or there is always some reason "to not too", or general apathy sets in and things go on as always.

Well in some moment of (in) sanity I decided that I would do it. Today in fact.

So today is the first day of not smoking. I have tried many many times to quit over the years, a couple stuck, but I kept going back to my old friend Mr. Butt. He's that stead fast, go to, self imposed time out that has helped me stay somewhat functional and most likely out of jail. 

Problem is, I have always known he's got to go ; but I have been with him for such a long time that parting from him is not going to be easy. I know this - I've seen me quit before. Others have lived to tell long tales about the fucking insane devil bitch that emerges from the recesses of my soul and inhabits my brain during nicotine withdrawal. She's not pretty!

Now I know what all of you are thinking- There are products that replace the nicotine, gum, patches, lozenges, inhalers and and and...Yup, but none of them are Mr. Butt. And Mr. Butt keeps the Devil Bitch at bay. The gum helps and that is what I will be using, probably along with some sort of over the counter muscle relaxer to keep me somewhat comatose but still functional.

In an effort to help save those around me from the onslaught of the Devil Bitch, I strategically  selected a day/week that I would not have much opportunity to interact with the general populous. My boss would be away on holidays for a week ( hence increasing the odds that I may stay employed). We wouldn't be having any company or going away for several weeks, so my familial relationships would remain slightly dysfunctional and that would just leave Cub and The man who has already quit for a week  and makes it look like a fucking walk in the park, to deal with.

Yeah... So this morning, Cub is pukey and home from school. Having no alternative, I am home ALL day with him- alone. My boss cancelled his vacation and will be around all week and my  Mother and Sister in law will be arriving on Friday.

Fuck me.

I know the easy out would be to put it off for another week- but I know there will always be some reason (read excuse) to put it off just another week. So here we are.

Day one.

Wish me luck, and consider yourselves for warned about the Devil Bitch. If you see her lurking around, please don't take it personally, she shouldn't linger too long.

Day One Update:

Hey!! Thanks for the words of encouragement although I did notice no one offered to help me hide any bodies...sheesh!!
Well Day one came and went and no one died- so really I wrap that up to a success. In fact I had the best encouragement ever. Cub turned to me near the end of the day and said 
" Mom! You haven't been outside to Smoke all day! Awe Mom, I am sooo proud of you!" Followed up by the biggest hug and kiss.  
Then, when the husband came home- he asked Cub how his day was.
"Oh Dad it was great! Mom didn't smoke and know what?"
"What"
" She wasn't even GROUCHY!"




AA