3
Bone-cracker
I am off to see the chiropractor this afternoon for my first visit since I was 16 . To save y'all the math let's just rack that up to a long time ago and leave it at that.
I am not a bone-cracker fan and I tend to shy away from anything that has to do with contorting my body into un-natural positions to ensure my back makes cracking noises. Normally I wouldn't go to the bone-cracker at all, but there is a larger fear at play here.
Apparently I have some back issue with my L4 and L5 that is causing my nerves to shorten and cease. This wonderful phenomenon of course causes shooting pain that resonates down my leg leaving me semi capable of doing anything other than popping Tylenol and walking around with a heating pad strapped to my ass.
So yeah, it's been bad.
I went to the Physiotherapist because I was sure it was my sciatic nerve and not and L4/ L5 issue. I was all ears as he described some exercises for me to do and he laid out the course of treatment;
"Well we will do some exercises and some spinal manipulation and I would like to do some IMS treatment as well"
"What is IMS"
" Oh well here is this brochure that explains exactly where we place the needles and how it works...blah blah blah"
"NEEDLES? YOU WANT TO PUT FUCKING NEEDLES IN MY BACK??"
" Well it is more complicated than just that."
"DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT PUT NEEDLES IN MY BACK?"
"Yes there is needle insertion into the muscles to get them to relax."
"THE FUCK?? HOW IS THAT RELAXING?? CAN'T YOU TELL I DON'T LIKE NEEDLES?"
"It really is not that painful, and once you get used to the feeling you will welcome the release."
"THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND THE ASSESSMENT, NOW IF YOU WOULD JUST BEND OVER I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE YOUR CLIP BOARD AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. DON'T WORRY I HEAR THAT IT WON'T BE THAT PAINFUL AND ONCE YOU GET USED TO THE FEELING YOU WILL WELCOME IT!"
So yeah, I have a thing...for needles. I am way more afraid of needles than I am of the bone-crackers though. And a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do- and if that means contortion vs needles, then contortion wins hands down!
I'm sure once I explain this to the bone-cracker we will be the best of friends... unless he doesn't like being called the bone-cracker, then I'm screwed.
I am not a bone-cracker fan and I tend to shy away from anything that has to do with contorting my body into un-natural positions to ensure my back makes cracking noises. Normally I wouldn't go to the bone-cracker at all, but there is a larger fear at play here.
Apparently I have some back issue with my L4 and L5 that is causing my nerves to shorten and cease. This wonderful phenomenon of course causes shooting pain that resonates down my leg leaving me semi capable of doing anything other than popping Tylenol and walking around with a heating pad strapped to my ass.
So yeah, it's been bad.
I went to the Physiotherapist because I was sure it was my sciatic nerve and not and L4/ L5 issue. I was all ears as he described some exercises for me to do and he laid out the course of treatment;
"Well we will do some exercises and some spinal manipulation and I would like to do some IMS treatment as well"
"What is IMS"
" Oh well here is this brochure that explains exactly where we place the needles and how it works...blah blah blah"
"NEEDLES? YOU WANT TO PUT FUCKING NEEDLES IN MY BACK??"
" Well it is more complicated than just that."
"DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT PUT NEEDLES IN MY BACK?"
"Yes there is needle insertion into the muscles to get them to relax."
"THE FUCK?? HOW IS THAT RELAXING?? CAN'T YOU TELL I DON'T LIKE NEEDLES?"
"It really is not that painful, and once you get used to the feeling you will welcome the release."
"THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND THE ASSESSMENT, NOW IF YOU WOULD JUST BEND OVER I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE YOUR CLIP BOARD AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. DON'T WORRY I HEAR THAT IT WON'T BE THAT PAINFUL AND ONCE YOU GET USED TO THE FEELING YOU WILL WELCOME IT!"
So yeah, I have a thing...for needles. I am way more afraid of needles than I am of the bone-crackers though. And a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do- and if that means contortion vs needles, then contortion wins hands down!
I'm sure once I explain this to the bone-cracker we will be the best of friends... unless he doesn't like being called the bone-cracker, then I'm screwed.
