Last time I checked- I had PASSED Grade two.

The Cub is in Grade two this year. Of course Grade two is wonderful and exciting and all that can be- when you are 6 almost 7 going on 10. For the parent of a Grade two'er it is somewhat..... challenging. There is homework to do, Math,Spelling and home reading nightly on top of quality time, baths, lunches to be made, swimming lessons and general not enough time in the day to get everything accomplished angst. We had settled into some sort of semblance of a routine when the 'Science Note' in the school agenda came home.

Information alert: This note came home 2 weeks prior to the actual due date of the project. I tucked it on the fridge and promptly wrote the project due date on the calendar.

Then, I....um....er......may or may not have forgotten about the thing until the weekend before it was due.

In my defense, I am a natural procrastinator. During University I was the  freaking queen of procrastination!! Due dates meant little to me- oh you need that 20 page research paper in two days- BAM! What's that? An essay due tomorrow- BAM! So I wasn't too stressed out about getting a Grade two science project done , I had the whole weekend!

So Sunday night before dinner ( you know the one where I may or may not have drank too much wine..same Sunday dinner)

 I gathered up the supplies, I gathered the Cub and we set out to make the boat race track. All was going well, cardboard box, paperclips- Cub made the boats out of Foam, I made the track- complete with a water bridge that they had to go over. We cut out paper together and covered up the cardboard. Cub drew on trees and people watching. Done. (There may have been some banshee Mom moments because Cub was done long before the project was - but dammit we were on a tight schedule! How can I teach him to procrastinate properly if he doesn't react well under pressure) 

Then I read the Teacher's note again: Project will be graded according to quality of the project, how well it functions and the presentation. Hummm... 

"Hey X (man I'm married too but isn't helping with the project)? Hey come here for a sec. Does this look OK?"

"Yes, it looks like a race track for boats."

"You sure it looks OK?"

"Yes, it looks like a science project for grade two."

"Should we add some more stuff? Should we cover the front? Should we add trees?"

"Have you lost your mind? It is a grade two science project."

"It will be graded according to 'quality of the project' and you just know there are those 'uber' types out there that are going to make it all swanky and shit. I just want his to look good."

"IT IS A GRADE TWO PROJECT! It will be fine- stop stressing!"

"OK, I call it done then."

The next morning I put the science project in a bag and drive Cub to school because Mom  was a little late on the get go after the dog shit fiasco. As I am unloading the over packed child from the car, I notice out of the corner of my eye, several parents carrying race tracks and puppet shows, dancing figures...

I glance over-  Does that race track have REAL TREES!! Sonofabitch!

The remainder of my morning commute I spent fuming on my procrastination and stressing that my child's project will look like shit in comparison. 

That night over dinner, Cub told us all about all the other projects. Racetracks with real stones and trees. A toboggan race with snow,  glitter and uber parents oh my! Who has that kind of time? Why would you spend that much time (and money) on a Grade two magnet project?

 Then I realized something. Last time I checked - I had passed Grade two. Why the hell did I feel like I was the one being graded?  Would I fail as a mother if a teacher decided that I didn't do a good enough job on the science project. Seriously What the hell?  Wasn't the point of the project to let the kids do it with some parental help? When did that go out the window? 

When we asked Cub about how his project went- he beamed as he explained how he got the boat over the water bridge. Seeing his eyes light up with pride over his project- yeah...screw you Grade two science teacher and overly uber parents - that  is the ONLY grade I care about.

Non uber