The past few weeks have not been too great for me. In fact I have had the starring role at a personal pity party, that I have now cordially invited all of you to partake in, I know, I’m sweet for inviting y’all along. Really there is nothing you need to bring, the appys and bevies are on me.

I don’t know if it has been the weather, the stress of work, the same old life stresses we go through, or some colossal explosive combination of the three- but it has been quite a funk. A funk I cannot seem to find my way out of.

I have tried the tested and true method of dousing it with alcohol, while this works for a bit, it seems to come back with a vengeance the next day.

I have tried to sweet talk it and dance it out of my soul, but it apparently is a feisty tango that keeps twirling back.

I have teased it with Facebook, but it get disappointed.

I have submersed it in books, but it hangs out on the back cover.

I’ve played it to near exhaustion with Cub, but it just moves its toys when I’m not looking.

X has tried to distract it long enough for me to whack it with a baseball bat but I can’t get it out of the park.

This is one of those funks that makes you look in every nook and cranny of your soul, searching, reflecting, digesting, vomiting… ( but not on the appy’s  I promise).

So if you are looking for me, I am the one doing the funky dance in the pity corner.

In an effort to enjoy my weekend, I have decided to cleanse my soul of a few of the items that have annoyed,pissed or down right caused me stress this week.

To that end I present you with;

•  To D#1: I can actually read and do my job- trust me - you don't have to read them to me, over, and over.
•  To D #2: Seriously? Seven smoke breaks before noon?
• To the Receptionist: Last time I checked it was in your job description to answer the phone, so stop asking me to pick it up because you are too busy picking your nose.
• To the Parents at Cub's school who cannot drive their children less than 10 blocks to school without popping in  a movie/tv show in the vehicle's DVD player for their kids to watch.
• To the person who 'coded' Cub's book to his reading level, 3 chapters in a book is not level H!
• To the asshat who was ahead of me coming into the parking garage, the posted speed is 10KM an hour not 2KM - Just a heads up - there is no need to SLAM on your brakes at that speed. 
• To the kid who stole Cub's mitts on the bus- I'm going to shove them down your Mom's throat if I find you.
• To the twatrot driving 40km in the fast lane on the highway. Two bloody days in a row! Yes there is a reason I was driving in the dirt once I passed you.
• To the cleaning staff at my building, pssst...there is a small island of dirt  in the middle of my floor, its name is Bob, please continue to leave him alone.
• To the women who likes to puke on the floor in the women's bathroom at work. Please for the love of all that is holy call the cleaning people, so I don't have to..oh..unless you've named it too?

* Click, Click, Click* "There's no place like home, there's no place like home... P.S....has anyone seen  my glass of vodka?"