Commuting Episode 1: Just when I think I've seen just about everything

My commute to work can be entertaining. I've had a number of run ins with complete lunatics, sign waving guys asking me for a date, moose, deer, rednecks and bad, bad bad drivers. But this morning... I was slack jawed.
I left home, headed out on the highway behind this piece of shit truck. This truck was driven by a woman whom I could only fairly describe as having only brushed one side of her hair. One side was perfectly flat, the other side, well in the shadows it looked like Medusa. Odd enough.
She was accelerating slowly up to highway speed so I tried to wait her out (Seeing as though she was in the 'get the fuck out of my way lane- otherwise known as the fast lane) she didn't pull over to the right.. so I signaled to change lanes, when she started to drift into the left lane.
I thought she may be changing lanes- apparently she decided that the best and safest place to drive was right in the middle of the highway. She remained there, for a good 10 minutes with me right behind her trying to find a way around her. Oh and the traffic was piling up behind me. I nearly wore out my horn.
Finally I scooted over onto the shoulder and deaked around her. As I was beside her I shot her my best ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY look- and she didn't even notice me because she was too busy smoking something out of a hand crafted pipe! WHAT!!!!
I hit the gas and maxed out my little car as fast as she could go- just to get as physically far away from her as possible for fear that Medusa head could turn my tailpipe into a meth pipe.
Yup, smoking meth, or crack...nothing wakes you up like your first hit in the morning.
Maybe I missed the commuter memo- you know the one where we cash in our morning coffee and replace it with meth!!
Oh, I wonder what sights I will see on my way HOME..

Kisses and safe travels to all!!